as we embark on a new year tomorrow, we mustn't forget the lessons we've learned for the past year. this year for me was interesting: the ending and graduating of high school, the beginning and ending of relationships and friendships, the turning of new pages. i learned some valuable lessons that i hope will stick with me for the next few years while i organize and put together my life, if not stick around for what's left of it.

ONE. STOP FEARING THE UNKNOWN, THE UNCONTROLLED

If you ask any of my friends, they'll tell you that i am the one of the most indecisive people you will ever meet; i will always be the first person to call 'nose goes'. my family will tell you that when it came time to think about colleges and next years plans after high school, my limit for distance was two hours. while a lot of friends stayed within stay, i felt like two hours could bring me to boston or providence, far enough away that i had enough time to prepare for a surprise visit from my parents or close enough that i could be home within two hours. i thought i was set. until my sister suggested i look at UVM, a school five hours away with almost 14000 students in a small city, a school that i never would have though of. the description alone could have captured my heart, but the distance alone could have kept me away. i was afraid to leave everything i've ever known and venture into the scary world without a single familiar face. My dad and i went to visit the school, on a snowy rainy cloudy crappy day last winter. i fell in love. and i knew it was true love because i loved the school at it's worst, so how could i not love it at it's best too? after being there for a semester, i can honestly say i've never been so happy. it really is the perfect school for me, it's exactly what i wanted. i almost let the fear of something new keep me from being happy. i was so afraid to leave home, but i am so glad that i did.

TWO. SAY YES MORE THAN YOU SAY NO

After living on my own, i can say that i feel like an adult. i make my own doctors appointments, i pay for my food (mostly), i pay for my own clothes, and i manage my own life. Life is only so long. you'll only have so much time to take advantage of your young age or good health. get out there. climb some mountains, jump of some cliffs into unknown pools of water, splurge on a great pair of new shoes. i'm not telling you to go out there and do something crazy, but everyone needs to take advantage of the time they have left. soon i'll be done with college, soon i'll need to hopefully settle down and start a family, soon i'll need to have a full time job. all things that i want to do with my life, but now is the only time you have to do something crazy. between years at school, those summers are the only summers you have nothing to worry about. get a really awesome summer job somewhere fun, somewhere where you can experience something totally surreal. get out there! get busy!

THREE. TELL SOMEONE YOU LOVE THEM

as i was talking to a friend the other day, i asked him what his biggest fear was. he responded: "something happening that changes everything." in all my times of asking people their biggest fears, which i assure is more than the average person, that fear had never crossed my mind. with all five of my siblings living in five different states this year, we have all become independent grown people living different lives, traveling different paths. i never go a week without talking to each one, including my parents. thank god for technology making it so easy for us to keep in touch with people across the country at the touch of a few buttons. make sure you tell your friends you love them, make sure you tell them how much they mean to you, make sure you tell them how big of impact they have on your life, how much you appreciate everything they've ever done for you.

these are all of my opinions. you may find that you have different thoughts or feelings, but for me this is what is important in my life. i'm not asking you to agree with everything i say, but these are my feelings.

life as we know it

   Spending my first significant amount of time back home after my first semester away at college, i am noticing a lot more about how small of a town i came from. thomaston, a town of about 8,000 people, all living within a 13 by 8 mile radius of each other, it goes without saying that everyone knows everyone. the best part about a small town is that everyone knows everyone, so if you're ever stuck it isn't hard to find some help. the worst part about a small town is that everybody knows everyone.. and everybody's skeletons. the same kids i graduated with last spring are the same kids i grew up with; went to kindergarden with, played on the black top with, told my first secrets to, had my first beer with. the environment we grow up in has such a huge impact on the person you become. we learned that you can be someones best friend within the minute, but turn right around once you've gotten the information you were looking for and continue to snub them again. when you're in a relationship, nothing ever stays between the two of you. the fights you have become public via twitter, people will always have an opinion on what's going on, and the secrets you told will later be spilled after a devious breakup. small town, large entertainment.

   being such a small town, people only tend to grow as far as their surroundings will let them.. meaning that sometimes people will choose to not do things because they would no longer being accepted by their small, comfortable circle of friends. sometimes people will opt out of good opportunities or surpass on chances of a life time with a fear of unacceptance, but sometimes people will take advantage of the opportunities, without a fear of losing their friends, for they realize that the friends that have will like them for who they are, otherwise they aren't worth the time. one should never have to be afraid to do something, never be afraid to try something new because you're friends might not have the same ambitious goals as you do. you should never have to fear being someone you want to be because you're afraid of other peoples opinions. your true self should never be a doubt in your mind.

   when we went to college, some of us grew up while others didn't, remaining in the high school mindset they've had for the past four years. those who didn't choose schools far from their parents watchful eyes and sheltered roofs, did not change in the way that others did. some of us who moved out of state and didn't have the option of coming home on weekends so easily, learned to be independent and how to make our own life choices, become our own adults, our own people.

  after many devoted hours to the high school world, student council president national honor society interact club blah blah blah, i was eager to please others. almost too eager. i wanted everyones approval of what i was doing at all times; i wanted to be accepted by everyone, and disliked by no one. i avoided confrontations and would rather just be spoken down to if it meant the argument would go away tomorrow. i couldn't stand up for myself. i didn't want to breakup with boyfriends because of a fear of losing all the friends that came with them, i was scared to do something i knew was best for myself because i didn't want people to disapprove. i can finally say that after going away to college and living on my own, leaving behind the small world that is thomaston and becoming just another face in a 14,000 population world, i know who i want to be. i can't be afraid of living my own life with a fear of people disliking me, who live in a world five hours away from me. i'm not saying that i'm not going to make enemies in my life, i'm saying that it's okay to have people dislike you, as long as you're being honest with yourself. i'm not saying that all my fears of acceptance are gone, but i've learned to become my own person; some altered, grown, matured version of my high school self. as the saying goes, those who mind won't matter and those who matter won't mind.

burlington is rated as number three of the top nicest cities to live in. not only is it a beautiful city, with these beautiful big stone buildings with the gorgeous mountains and foliage, but it's the culture that really gets me. after visiting other schools like BC and Fairfield, nothing held a candle to UVM. yesterday, when downtown with my friend Hannah (the other half of 'Hannah Squared'), we were waiting at the bus station when we were approached by an older black man covered in silver and turquoise jewelry. he began the conversation by asking if my hair was naturally curly, and whether it came from my mother or my father. when i told him it came from my fathers white guy afro, he smiled. we then made some small talk, to a point where he asked us if we loved out mothers. of course, being the two most sentimental and emotional girls, we agree without hesitation. he then proceeded to recite a poem to us, titled 'Motherly Love'. it was honestly one of the most beautiful experiences i have had since i've been here. the people in this city are just so welcoming; never would that happen to in new york city. burlington never ceases to impress me, a new experience every day.

seven things a girl should have

one.

boots, boots, and more boots

coming to college, my mother told me i could only bring 10 pairs of shoes with me. and i laughed in her face. that means she wanted me to simplify my collection of 64 pairs of shoes, yes 64, to 10. impossible (if you know anything about women and their shoes). i believe a girl is most confident in her boots, whether they be brown leathers or black studdeds. not uggs and not heels. a general pair of boots. a pair you can dress up to wear out or a pair you can throw on with jeans and a sweater.

two.

scarves of multitudes 

i believe scarves can change a person's outfit entirely. a scarf can add that one zest of color to your completely bland outfit. i have a beautiful ginger friend, complete with freckles and all, who has a rusty orange scarf and when she wears it, i swear to God she is glowing. a scarf can hide a mistake made from the previous night, or add some flava to your life on a rainy day.

three.
flask forever

a classy girl never leaves home without her flask. i'm not talking about a silver stallion flask, i'm talking about a classy, completely hipster floral flask. it's something i think is worth a splurge, how often do you come across a beautiful gem like this one? rarely. so when you do, take advantage. like a cute boy: if you don't make move quick, someone else will.

four.

nail polish, what up

one of my favorite things to do is to paint my nails. i literally paint them every other day, if not every day. not because i paint them to match my every day outfit, because, honestly, that would be a little obsessive. i love to try all different kinds of colors and designs. i am constantly drawing on my nails with sharpies or using toothpicks to add dots or flowers. also, i get really skeeved out by nails without color on them, i have no idea why..

five.

sexy blacks

every girls needs your average simple blacks. i'm talking simple black heels, simple black leather boots, simple black peacoat, simple black leather jackets, simple black leather handbag, simple black skirt, simple little black dress, simple black flats, simple black jeans. simple simple simple black black black.

six.
earrings
every girl needs a wide range of bling-bling. whether you find your swag with studs like one of my roommates, or you like big bold shine like my friend from another campus, everyone has their niche. a girl who hides behind her earring is someone who can't wear them with confidence. shine bright, but make sure you swag doesn't blind anyone.

seven.

one good guy friend
i am a strong believer that every girl needs a guy friend she can always be herself around. whether you find this character in your brother or in your ex-boyfriend, every girl needs a guy they can always confine in without pressure. someone to give you advice, someone to tell you straight up, someone to remind you how much you deserve, someone to tell you how amazing of a person you truly are.

broken hearts and shed tears

my theory on break-ups: they suck.

but the way i see it, if a break-up isn't difficult and it doesn't hurt, the relationship did not mean enough to you. relationships are about letting someone truly see your deepest deep and letting them know every last detail of your life. when you find someone who means so much to you at any point in your life, regardless of how the relationships ends, you will always have all of those memories that you will always reflect back to. sometimes they make you smile, those good times where you were swinging on the swings at your elementary school's playground, or the times you'd stayed up until three in the morning talking about your dreams and admirations. sometimes you don't look at the happy moments, you see the moments where you were brought to tears with such frustration or anger, where you didn't think the sun would ever shine again. 

it's moments like that that make you think you made the right choice, but you will always have lapses of the happy times, the times you want to remember. the times where there was no stop to your sunshine and you felt invincible. but don't let that get you down. sometimes the cards just aren't right at the time, sometimes you have to think about yourself before thinking of someone as. it may be selfish, but sometimes it's allowed. sometimes you don't actually realize how much you truly love someone, until you have to let them go. maybe it will be too late, but one who loves will love again, even if it means loving the same person again, or meeting someone new.

a love like no other

this is my beautiful sister, Elizabeth. she has one of the purest of hearts and cleanest of souls, with the warmest touch of anyone i know. since i've been at school, i have learned a lot about the different relationships siblings have with each other. i could never imagine a day where i am not on speaking terms with any of my five siblings, for i love them all far too much for that thought to even be true.

i can so vividly remember one day in our bed room when my jar of jelly beans had ants in them. i cried and cried because i was so upset, but liz soon fixed the problem when she gave me hers and told me i was too pretty to cry. i have never felt so passionate about a person, besides my sister. i look up to her in every single aspect of my life. when i was younger, about middle school, my parents started comparing me to her, being the only daughters in our family, and it drove me insane. i wanted to be nothing like her, i wanted to be my own person. but now, when i look at it, i would give anything to be more like her. she is a brilliant and beautiful girl. she can make any person smile at any given time. there is a magnitude about her persona that just draws people to her in a crowded room, everyone wants to talk to her. she has a degree in speech and language pathology and currently lives in california with her boyfriend working in a showroom but will soon be starting her new job. i cannot say enough nice things about this girl, i love her more than any other person in the world. she is my hero, my role model, my best friend. i love the shit out of you, big steak.

originally from a tiny town in connecticut, now having recently moved to burlington vermont, i am still adjusting to the differences. i have met a very wide range of people, some who i am sure will not be here next semester, and some who i am sure will be standing ahead of me as i walk down the isle. this photo was taken by a friend from home, laura, and as soon as i saw it i set it as my desktop. the colors are beautiful and the lighting amazing, it is a simply beautiful picture from a simply beautiful girl

smile, you're beautiful

i have creative this blog out of envy of my beautiful friend's blog but I'm not sure what to write.. hell, i'm not even sure what blogging is really about. i will try my best to ensure diversity in my posts and pictures that will make you smile. life is honestly too short to hold grudges or to be upset about something that you can't control, so remember that smiling takes 7 facial muscles, while frowning takes 42.