as we embark on a new year tomorrow, we mustn't forget the lessons we've learned for the past year. this year for me was interesting: the ending and graduating of high school, the beginning and ending of relationships and friendships, the turning of new pages. i learned some valuable lessons that i hope will stick with me for the next few years while i organize and put together my life, if not stick around for what's left of it.

ONE. STOP FEARING THE UNKNOWN, THE UNCONTROLLED

If you ask any of my friends, they'll tell you that i am the one of the most indecisive people you will ever meet; i will always be the first person to call 'nose goes'. my family will tell you that when it came time to think about colleges and next years plans after high school, my limit for distance was two hours. while a lot of friends stayed within stay, i felt like two hours could bring me to boston or providence, far enough away that i had enough time to prepare for a surprise visit from my parents or close enough that i could be home within two hours. i thought i was set. until my sister suggested i look at UVM, a school five hours away with almost 14000 students in a small city, a school that i never would have though of. the description alone could have captured my heart, but the distance alone could have kept me away. i was afraid to leave everything i've ever known and venture into the scary world without a single familiar face. My dad and i went to visit the school, on a snowy rainy cloudy crappy day last winter. i fell in love. and i knew it was true love because i loved the school at it's worst, so how could i not love it at it's best too? after being there for a semester, i can honestly say i've never been so happy. it really is the perfect school for me, it's exactly what i wanted. i almost let the fear of something new keep me from being happy. i was so afraid to leave home, but i am so glad that i did.

TWO. SAY YES MORE THAN YOU SAY NO

After living on my own, i can say that i feel like an adult. i make my own doctors appointments, i pay for my food (mostly), i pay for my own clothes, and i manage my own life. Life is only so long. you'll only have so much time to take advantage of your young age or good health. get out there. climb some mountains, jump of some cliffs into unknown pools of water, splurge on a great pair of new shoes. i'm not telling you to go out there and do something crazy, but everyone needs to take advantage of the time they have left. soon i'll be done with college, soon i'll need to hopefully settle down and start a family, soon i'll need to have a full time job. all things that i want to do with my life, but now is the only time you have to do something crazy. between years at school, those summers are the only summers you have nothing to worry about. get a really awesome summer job somewhere fun, somewhere where you can experience something totally surreal. get out there! get busy!

THREE. TELL SOMEONE YOU LOVE THEM

as i was talking to a friend the other day, i asked him what his biggest fear was. he responded: "something happening that changes everything." in all my times of asking people their biggest fears, which i assure is more than the average person, that fear had never crossed my mind. with all five of my siblings living in five different states this year, we have all become independent grown people living different lives, traveling different paths. i never go a week without talking to each one, including my parents. thank god for technology making it so easy for us to keep in touch with people across the country at the touch of a few buttons. make sure you tell your friends you love them, make sure you tell them how much they mean to you, make sure you tell them how big of impact they have on your life, how much you appreciate everything they've ever done for you.

these are all of my opinions. you may find that you have different thoughts or feelings, but for me this is what is important in my life. i'm not asking you to agree with everything i say, but these are my feelings.

life as we know it

   Spending my first significant amount of time back home after my first semester away at college, i am noticing a lot more about how small of a town i came from. thomaston, a town of about 8,000 people, all living within a 13 by 8 mile radius of each other, it goes without saying that everyone knows everyone. the best part about a small town is that everyone knows everyone, so if you're ever stuck it isn't hard to find some help. the worst part about a small town is that everybody knows everyone.. and everybody's skeletons. the same kids i graduated with last spring are the same kids i grew up with; went to kindergarden with, played on the black top with, told my first secrets to, had my first beer with. the environment we grow up in has such a huge impact on the person you become. we learned that you can be someones best friend within the minute, but turn right around once you've gotten the information you were looking for and continue to snub them again. when you're in a relationship, nothing ever stays between the two of you. the fights you have become public via twitter, people will always have an opinion on what's going on, and the secrets you told will later be spilled after a devious breakup. small town, large entertainment.

   being such a small town, people only tend to grow as far as their surroundings will let them.. meaning that sometimes people will choose to not do things because they would no longer being accepted by their small, comfortable circle of friends. sometimes people will opt out of good opportunities or surpass on chances of a life time with a fear of unacceptance, but sometimes people will take advantage of the opportunities, without a fear of losing their friends, for they realize that the friends that have will like them for who they are, otherwise they aren't worth the time. one should never have to be afraid to do something, never be afraid to try something new because you're friends might not have the same ambitious goals as you do. you should never have to fear being someone you want to be because you're afraid of other peoples opinions. your true self should never be a doubt in your mind.

   when we went to college, some of us grew up while others didn't, remaining in the high school mindset they've had for the past four years. those who didn't choose schools far from their parents watchful eyes and sheltered roofs, did not change in the way that others did. some of us who moved out of state and didn't have the option of coming home on weekends so easily, learned to be independent and how to make our own life choices, become our own adults, our own people.

  after many devoted hours to the high school world, student council president national honor society interact club blah blah blah, i was eager to please others. almost too eager. i wanted everyones approval of what i was doing at all times; i wanted to be accepted by everyone, and disliked by no one. i avoided confrontations and would rather just be spoken down to if it meant the argument would go away tomorrow. i couldn't stand up for myself. i didn't want to breakup with boyfriends because of a fear of losing all the friends that came with them, i was scared to do something i knew was best for myself because i didn't want people to disapprove. i can finally say that after going away to college and living on my own, leaving behind the small world that is thomaston and becoming just another face in a 14,000 population world, i know who i want to be. i can't be afraid of living my own life with a fear of people disliking me, who live in a world five hours away from me. i'm not saying that i'm not going to make enemies in my life, i'm saying that it's okay to have people dislike you, as long as you're being honest with yourself. i'm not saying that all my fears of acceptance are gone, but i've learned to become my own person; some altered, grown, matured version of my high school self. as the saying goes, those who mind won't matter and those who matter won't mind.